His and Her Health

Only very recently I discovered orgasms. I had not been told about them, in anyway. I had been able to reach an orgasm for around a year now through my clitoris. I am getting very tired of this way. It is taking a long, too long 25 or even 30 minutes. There isnt enough time ever to do this and not be rushed.
I just heard about the Orgasmic Diet thing browsing on this site about information on vaginal orgasms, mainly because if I do start having sex again I want my partner to not feel bad if they couldnt get me off.
I have been thinking about ways to solve this problem, this diet thing seems reasonable, although I am only 18 and just starting college. So really my main question is how do I reach one, I mean tightening muscle, and all that. But what about the stress in my daily life that hinders my libido and what about the birth control I am on for ovarian cysts?
Oh all of this seems impossible.

I don't have an answer, just a similar problem.
I was a virgin when I married almost a year ago. Sex was never painful, just wonderful. Except, I wasn't able to orgasm until about 2 months into our marriage. And, even now that I know what it feels like and we've been practicing like newlyweds do, 3-7x a week, in all positions, different times of day, different foreplay etc. it still takes between 20 minutes up to an hour to reach a climax. And I have never been able to orgasm while he is inside- it's all direct clitoral stimulation. My husband is immensely patient and loving, so we have a satisfying sex life. But when life is busy, we can't be spending an hour each time, and we'd really like to get a vaginal orgasm once. Please help.

Is this going to be my "normal?"

Yes, it could be your normal. MOST women do not orgasm from intercourse. 70% require direct clitoral stimulation. This is normal for nearly three quarters of women in the world. The "problem" is the IDEA that clitoral orgasms are the wrong kind or that vaginal orgasms are the right kind. And 15-20 minutes or more is also pretty normal.

I can understand how you'd be frustrated if it takes MORE than 20 minutes of working at it. Could some of that be related to negative feelings about clitoral orgasms?

Have you tried a vibrator? You can have your husband use it on you. Or you can use it on yourself while he stimulates or breasts or something else you like.

Think of it this way. The clitoris is a complex organ, like the penis. It goes deep inside your body, but only the tip is exposed on the outside. How hard do you think it would be for your husband to orgasm if his penis was buried inside his body except the head? He might need a vibrator too to get enough stimulation.

There is no one right way for sex to be. It's all of it - all the ways you pleasure each other. Please try not to feel broken!

You should try zaneblue's diet. It can help with libido, sensitivity and vaginal orgasm. But I'll tell you from first-hand experience. I used the diet to learn how to have vaginal orgasms and they're great fun but I'd trade a thousand of them for one good clitoral orgasm. Those are just the best, IMO.

all the above ideas are quite good, but everyone is different. for me "learning" to have a g spot orgasm took lots of direct g spot manipulation from my very patient husband, proper angle and many many practice sessions. i have a pillow under me for support and a benwa ball that works virtually every time. DH says its "in the way" for a few minutes but then tucks in right on my g spot and rolls back and forth for mind bending O's. he says he doesn't notice it once it tucks in, so it's not a problem for him.

Thanks for the replies and advice. Does anyone have any tips for why it may take an hour?? Seriously, 15-20 minutes would be great at this point.

Are there any tricks for keeping your mind from wandering after so long? Sometimes both of us are unable to concentrate on it that long.

I've played collegiate sports, and know from experience that when I'm still thinking about how I'm doing something, I usually don't do as well in that skill. I feel like it is the same with sex, only I feel like I need to be very focused in order to come. Ideas?