His and Her Health

Ok, recently I have had a compelling need to take my conversation about sexual desires to a new level with my wife. But the results are, as they always been that my flirty, adventurous, and erotic ideas are "teenage and immature" Normal, in the bed coital sex with a half hearted blow job every once in a while, (oh and of course acceptance of my insatiable desire to go down on her all the time) is in, and meeting me with craving exciting adventure is a childish desire on my part.

I thought it would be "intersting" to get a prince albert piercing, for a while now. I do not expect it to change the actual sensations of sex much if at all. Nice if it could. But I am hoping to "Put a stake in the ground" (or somewhere else) that will provoke a real conversation we really need to have, but cannot in the status quo.

So, my question is this. If your husband came home with a Prince Albert Piercing. What would your reaction be? Disgusted?, Intrigued?, Clear that there are places we need to go together? Call the men in the white coats? How would you react?

<small>[ 04-26-2008, 11:19 AM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>

Not going to work.

My suggestion? Get her my book, and get yourself that pick-up artist book by Neil Strauss. If you are going to play games they might as well be effective ones. Men are silly, they expend all that mental effort to use those tricks on one-night stands, when I think the real place for that is long-term relationships when the woman is running cold.

I am not a prude in the least bit but I seriously had no idea what a "Prince Albert Pierching" was. Intrigued, I googled it and can honestly say I would not be turned on by the idea at all. But, from the tone of your post, I don't really think you are asking for our opinion of that specifically. Sounds like you and your partner have a very different desire level and different needs and sexual expectations. Lots of couples face mismatched libidos but coming home trying to shock your wife "out of it" like you are right and she is wrong is probably not going to be successful. I think you should try another strategy (maybe even a counselor?) if you really want to start a constructive conversation and not put your wife in a defensive position.

<small>[ 04-27-2008, 07:35 PM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>

Defensiveness, blame and stone walling are the standard responses to any tangible discrussion for the last 10 years. Hoping, you are right. I am beginning to give up.

By the way, I need counceling, not her. You know how I know this? Because she told me so, last time I invited her to go together.

Sorry to hear that your wife is not receptive to going to counseling. I hear your frustration and am glad that you have tried to voice your concerns and look for a solution together. I dont think one partner can 'fix' a marriage but going to counseling yourself might give you a much needed outlet and/or give you some additional ideas. One thought though - usually at least with women, sexual 'problems' don't usually start in the bedroom. Maybe exploring other aspects of your relationship might lead you to something that she might be willing to discuss?? Men tend to focus on the sex whereas for women that is often a consequence of other problems in the relationship. Just a thought for you to explore.