His and Her Health

I am 21 and have been sexualy active for about 4 years. but I don't have much sensation at all really during sex and have never had an orgasm. i recently discovered clitoral stimulation, which is great but still no orgasm.

I would like to know whats wrong with me, should I ask my GP? Seems a bit wierd to tell him. any magical cures? or are some people just missing something?

thank you

Hi Jen,

Before you talk to an MD, do a lot of homework--I mean reading. Read some basic books on women's sexuality-- Becoming Orgasmic by Heiman and LoPiccolo, Sex Matters for Women, and also
read The Hite Report. My suspicion is that you don't understand what it takes to be aroused, and that you're pacing yourself by your male partner's pacing.

Try these suggestions and get back to us.

Sincerely,

Aline Zoldbrod Ph.D.

I would also recommend "For Yourself" by Lonnie Barbach and "sex For One" by Betty Dodson.

The exercises in the former will really help you get in touch with your own sensations. I also highly recommend "Becoming Orgasmic". I read both at the same time and did exercises out of both. Let me warn you however, don't expect instant results. It took me about 4 years to have my first orgasm after reading both books for the first time at 14. I think that's a bit on the extreme end though. It really took about 6 months of solid work for it to finally happen for me.

You will need to spend time getting to know yourself and learning to love your body in order to receive pleasure from it. I think these books are a great way to start that journey, but you have to do the work.