His and Her Health

I've often wondered how it could be that some people who enjoy sex a lot could be happy with having sex only about once a week. I can't think of any physical "refractory" effect which takes a week to recharge. If their experience were really as enjoyable as they claim, why wouldn't they insist on more the next day? Instead, they'd rather watch TV. That never made sense to me.

I've heard the explanation that for many women (more so then for men) it's a case of "out of sight out of mind". They normally don't think much about sex, but once they start, they can very much get into it. But it still seems strange to me that something so exciting could really be "out of mind" at other times. So I still don't quite believe that it's all that exciting for such a person.

If I wait more than 24 hours without sexual release, I increasingly fantasize and anticipate the next time. It's been that way since my early teens, and I'm now in my late 50's. No exceptions, not even when I've been sick with the flu. Sex 2-3 times a day, or more, is also fun once in a while, but not a requirement to feel fulfilled.

Needless to say, this level of desire has not worked well for my marriage, though it may not be the cause of my wife's total lack of interest in sex. Our libidos seemed to be matched when we first met, but her's wasn't sustained like mine. I hear that that "sustainability" mismatch is pretty common, and the cause of a lot of long-term marital misery.

"Needless to say, this level of desire has not worked well for my marriage, though it may not be the cause of my wife's total lack of interest in sex. Our libidos seemed to be matched when we first met, but her's wasn't sustained like mine. I hear that that "sustainability" mismatch is pretty common, and the cause of a lot of long-term marital misery."

Patient, this could very well have been written by me. When my wife and I first started dating some 46 years ago, she certainly had hot pants. In fact, if it had not been for that we might not have married. Unfortunately, that did not last too long and at the height of her libido, it was no more than once a week. On the other hand, I have always been "good-to-go" 2-3 times a day. I am convince that her disinterest was in part responsible for my ED. Ironically, now that I have ED she has demonstrated a little more interest, which is a frustrating development in some ways. I cannot imagine how wonderful it must be to be matched with someone of equal libido that is "sustained" as you say. I believe mismatched libido leads to a lot of infidelity.