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Need Help!!! Possible marriage depends on advice!
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TOPIC: Need Help!!! Possible marriage depends on advice!

3 years, 3 months ago #4348
  • chuntaro
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Need Help!!! Possible marriage depends on advice!

Please help me! My girl and I are both 24 yrs old. We've been together for over 2 1/2 years, and She has NEVER had an orgasm with me.

1)I went and did a bad thing and read her diary and it seems she has experienced an orgasm with her past sexual partner. I've been on the warpath trying everything, new techniques, flexibility, endurance training, extended oral and nothing. During sex her area will dry up and it becomes uncomfortable with but she allows me to finish.

2)During Oral sex she when it seems she is about to climax, she clutches her legs and pulls away urging me to stop, only rarely is there any release of fluids when this happens, after that we proceed with different positions and she dries up, and it becomes uncomfortable. Lube tends to make me ejaculate quicker but she doesn't have a chance to enjoy the sex as long.

After reading her diary recently if grown furious at myself that she can't enjoy with me what she had before with some other jerk and lately my confidence has been dwindling. I don't want her to spend the rest of her life with someone who can't satisfy her physically as well and emotionally. Is this a mental problem or am i doing something wrong? I don't know what to do! :confused: HELP!!!
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3 years, 3 months ago #4349
  • zaneblue
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Re: Need Help!!! Possible marriage depends on advice!

A woman's orgasmic ability depends more on her physiology than your technique. Why not get her my book? It might destress your situation somewhat if she is able to have easier orgasms.
My name is Marrena Lindberg, and I thank everyone here for their support over the years.*Author of "The Orgasmic Diet". Read an exerpt from the book at www.hisandherhealth.com/the-book-nook/22...is-new-book-can-help also click on the video link on that page.
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3 years, 3 months ago #4350

Re: Need Help!!! Possible marriage depends on advice!

It could also be a pain issue. If the pelvic floor muscles are tight (have increased tone), then orgasm can be painful. If it is the muscles then she needs to work on muscle lengthening through various massage and stretching techniques.

<small>[ 11-08-2008, 02:25 PM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>
Amy Stein, MPT
Beyond Basics Physical Therapy
1560 Broadway #311 NY, NY 10036
212-354-2622
AUTHOR of "HEAL PELVIC PAIN"exerpts from book: http://www.ourgyn.com http://www.beyondbasicsphysicaltherapy.com
Board member of the International Pelvic Pain Society
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3 years, 3 months ago #4351
  • coreniva
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Re: Need Help!!! Possible marriage depends on advice!

Chuntaro,
Does there seem to be an hesitation prior to what looks like her about to climax? Is there any clutching or pulling away (as you stated) with penetration? Is she on birth control pills?

Also, don't get upset and compare yourself to a past boyfriend as this does not mean she was ok with others but not with you. First she may have not told you she had something going on in the past. How long has this been occuring with your relationship?

niva
Niva Herzig MS, PT
Founder, Core Dynamics Physical Therapy
www.coredynamicspt.com
177 North Dean Street, Suite 302
Englewood, NJ 07631
201-568-5060
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3 years, 3 months ago #4352

Re: Need Help!!! Possible marriage depends on advice!

Have you talked to her about it? Ask her if whe has in the past and what you can do to get her orgasm.

Communication is the best way to get through difficult problems.
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3 years, 2 months ago #4353
  • chuntaro
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Re: Need Help!!! Possible marriage depends on advice!

Originally posted by Niva Herzig MS PT:
Chuntaro,
Does there seem to be an hesitation prior to what looks like her about to climax? Is there any clutching or pulling away (as you stated) with penetration? Is she on birth control pills? How long has this been occuring with your relationship?

niva
There is alot of clutching , and last second pulling away, I've tried to see if maybe she just wated to be held down or something, but I just end up hurting her and then she loses interest, so I stopped doing that. She is not on Birth control, (other than condoms) This has been going on since we've started being sexually active together which was about 2 1/2 years now.
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3 years, 2 months ago #4354
  • chuntaro
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Re: Need Help!!! Possible marriage depends on advice!

Originally posted by husbandandwife:
Have you talked to her about it? Ask her if whe has in the past and what you can do to get her orgasm.

Communication is the best way to get through difficult problems.
Yes We have Talked about it But Still have made no progressions.
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3 years, 2 months ago #4355

Re: Need Help!!! Possible marriage depends on advice!

Here is a link to one of our websites with articles that may give you the information you need. Please check other articles on the pages .

http://www.bermansexualhealth.com/voxant/5-tips-for-achieving-orgasm-through-intercourse.html
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