His and Her Health

Hi, everyone. I'm Aline Zoldbrod Ph.D., a psychologist, individual and couples therapist, and AASECT-certified sex therapist from Boston.
I'm here to help you with your relationship problems such as fear of relationships (sexual and otherwise), hurt feelings, old resentments, jealousies and anxieties, friendship woes, sex, porn, or support for staying in a relationship that is basically good.
Because my last name is so impossible, thanks to the folks at Ellis Island and my dear old Dad, who actually added a silent "d", you can call me Dr. Z.

the first time I had sex he only went in 2". I got very little pink, did NOT hurt. we did this mayby 11 times nothing differnt.I always did it so he cant get more in me. Now when I met my husband he has a 7.5" penis,7" around shaft, When we had sex I went pee after, It burned little vainey red stuff came out. The next day I was very sore. I did not get comfortable with his penis till the 3rd or 4th time. I never felt like that with my first.. Did I lose my virginity with my first or was the job not completed..

Dr Z, I don't know how to ask this question without sounding like I'm trying to imply that coreman doesn't know what she is talking about, but I assure you that is not the case and I'm just very curious. Have you ever known a man to have a penis that is 7 inches wide in circomfrence? That seems a bit large.

lovely lady, i think u may be doing the math wrong or thinking along the wrong lines, 7" wide would indeed be "almost"

We wrapped a binder paper around the bottom shaft,marked the paper then measured it. 6.5 flacid,7" hard. My question was "Did I lose my virginity with him due to his size?"

I thought the term "around" meant the measurement "around" whatever object you are measuring, which would indeed mean the circomfrence. Now if that is not what she meant, that's a different story, but that is what was posted so I commented accordingly. It's ok, though. This isn't the first time I have heard of someone's private being that large, so I asked Dr Z to respond and that's really all I want for right now.

Sexual intercourse does not always rupture the hymen. Therefore, the presence or absence of a hymen does not indicate virginity.

Better question is does DrZ ever answer. Posted in 2007, and I dont see any responses back. Id Love to ask a question, but only if there's a response in the future.

Hello Dr.Z,

I purchased the infamous Eroscillator.....it was a great disappointment. Not only did it look like something from the 70's, it was not very practical in my opinion. I purchased it for it's "guarantee" to help anorgasmic people. I remain anorgasmic. I am growing quite frustrated with this as I am 32 and have never experienced an orgasm. I have tried different lubricants but I find it extremely difficult to feel any sensations down below. I am not taking SSRI's or any medications except birth control. Any suggestions on fantastic creams/lubes/oils/suggestions...I'm open to anything!

I have an Eroscillator and I swear by it...But I have orgasmed all my life....My question to you is does your partner turn you on? When he touches and carresses you, do you feel the warmth of passion between your legs that makes you want to spread farther?...Do you sexually love him? I know that some women do fight themselves on this...Have you tried looking at a magazine...not looking at live Porn but a Playboy or Playgirl magazine showing either the female or the male naked to see if this arouses you? You have to change your mindset before you can find yourself...

A lubricant, cream or oil will not help you....It is a tiny key in your mind that must let the good girl find the bad girl that wants to break free.....

This is just my opinion....Take care, Caroline

Here is a link to an article (on one of our websites) that may give you some help.
http://www.bermansexualhealth.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=78

Thanks for the weblink Moderator, I have checked it out already and will try them out if a future boyfriend is in the works for me.
Caroline, I do not have a current boyfriend but in the past I have and I've always been able to get turned on by them. It's just something I need to work at or get tests done to see if hormones or my bc come into play. This forum definitely gives me some good advice though. Thanks!

Dr. Aline Zoldbrod's A to Z Blog About Sex

I have the following blog up as an article on www.ourgyn.com, www.bermansexualhealth.com and www.hisandherhealth.com but wanted to share some of it as my blog and get feedback.

As many of you know, I work in Boston, a city of hard-driving, hard working, low-leisure people. Trust me, Puritanism is still alive and well in my adopted home town.... Parenting is the straw that breaks the camel's back when it comes to enjoying the pleasures of sex. I see women and their mates with the issue of "no time" for sex with our revved up little ones, high-maintenance current parenting style, work, life in general. The kids turn out to be the absolute best birth control. I know that this problem has gotten to be typical throughout families all around America.

Here is a stragegy for "Great Sex for Parents" my husband and I practiced when our two kids were small. I found it worked for me back then, and I have found it works for my patients.

It's an exercise taken from my book SexTalk (p.96, Zoldbrod and Dockett, 2002). Trust me, if you previously liked sex, this strategy works:

"Couples with small children who don't have really close relatives nearby have problems finding time for great sex. Women have a more difficult time than men, because of our arousal patterns and because women frequently have primary responsibility for childcare. It takes a good night of sleep to be able to be a loving, balanced, sane parent in the morning. And it takes a long time of lovemaking for many women to click off from the mommy role and remember that they are sexual beings.

Even if you are a very social couple, make a joint decision that sometimes the two of you will have to forego "social night" with other couples for "really steamy sex night" with yourselves. Most couples cannot have both of these activities in the same night. Take out your calendars and mark off one or two (or more) weekend nights a month where you will not make plans with other people. No family obligations, no anniversary dinners, no movies and dates with friends. Make a plan for the day of the date night that includes:
• No cooking or cleaning up of the evening meal. Get takeout or heat something up.
• Do something that tires the kids out during the day.
• Person who needs nap should take one during the day. Or trade off and both get some nap time.
• Feed the children and get them to bed early.
• Eat a light dinner early yourselves.
• Again, do not fuss with cooking or cleanup.
• Do not eat a lot of food--It makes people tired and makes people feel self conscious about their stomachs, a mood-killer.
• Do not answer the phone after 6 O'Clock.
• Have a movie or something fun to watch or do by yourselves while the kids settle down in their rooms and go to sleep. Whatever this is, make sure you are doing it together. (No going on the internet to email, pay bills, etc. )
• You will have digested your food and gotten the kids to sleep by 9 P.M.
• You will now have at least two hours to have prolonged sex, to giggle, to to just lay down and enjoy eachothers' bodies. All this and you will still be able to get to sleep early enough to enjoy being a parent the next day."

So I'm hoping that some of you will try this and get back to me. And if any of you have other strategies to share, that would be great! A happy sex life is a grand prize.

When me and my husband are ready for intercourse,he want to kiss my vagina until a lot of liquid does not come out.After liquid he want to eat all of them .I don't like kissing in vagina and eating the liquid.So he is not happy with me for the intercourse.
Is this good to kissing in vagina?
Is there no any bad effect by eating the liquid of vagina?
Please suggest me?what I have to do?

A lot of women enjoy oral sex performed on them and can even have an orgasm from it. The liquid should have no harmful effect on your husband.If you do not like it he should respect your wish for him to not do it.The vagina is the inner canal to the cervix and uterus. The outer parts are the labia,large and small and the clitoris.