His and Her Health

I'm a 21 year old, active, healthy female, with zero sex drive. It started about six months ago. I've never really had a very high sex drive, but now I feel like I could live my entire life without ever having sex again. I also have never experienced an orgasm, alone or with a partner, and have low sexual satisfaction overall. Pretty much, when I do have sex, I'm constantly waiting for my partner to climax so that it's over and he is satisfied. I have just given up on ever taking any enjoyment out of the act. This is a huge problem in an otherwise perfect relationship with my boyfriend of 3 years. I really don't know what to do to solve this, or why I have this problem. Another thing my boyfriend brings up is that I'm an exotic dancer and that I can be very intune with my sexuality at work, but I am so not intersted in any sexual advances or initiations when I'm at home. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated.

Hi,

I'm interested in how bad (sorry, a little negative. OK, in the EXTENT) it can be for a woman, coz for a man - me - it is REALLY bad and REALLY obvious.

I can't fake much. I can't pretend to be in the mood. I can't fake an orgasm. I can't keep going if I am not feeling it, and I'm supposed to be the "initiator" and "attending" to my gf's needs (so much for equality!) so for a man this is bad.

How have you coped for 3 years? Or when did you notice your pleasure and libido drop? Do you communicate this to your bf? Do you fake it? Can he tell from your (lack of) lubrication that you may have an issue?

How do you get through such a frustrating time? Do you get some pleasure? You said "low", so you get SOME, right?

Do you just lay there motionless, "necro-style", waiting for it to be over, or have you tried to be on top to see if you can help the situation? Have you tried clitoral stimulation (alone, in sex)?

Please tell me how it goes. There seems to be more help out there for women with this than men, so you may be lucky.

Take care.

phoenix87, it may be that your job as an exotic dancer has somehow interfered with your own emotional sexuality. Perhaps a visit to your GYN is in order. Have him/her test your hormone levels.Here is a link to a thread on "The Orgasmic Diet" that one of our posters wrote a book about. It may be of some interest to you.
http://www.hisandherhealth.com/ubb/ultimatebb.php?/topic/1/2308.html

MyTurn, well, to answer your questions, first of all, I love my boyfriend very much, so I try and make sex as enjoyable as possibvle for him, that would be the "low" part of the satisfaction. I don't just lie there,lol, we have very active sex sessions, and yes, I do fake it. I didn't used to fake it, but he was getting so down on himself that I never had an orgasm and he didn't seem to understand when I told him it was never going to happen, so I just started faking it to save us both from the grief. I'm never in the mood, and so I do tend to resist any advances, but he's very persistent. Most of the time he just keeps bugging me until I give in. I'm sure you can see how this would be a giant problem in a relationship. I truely believe that the only reason he's put up with this for so long is that he is just an infinetely paitent human being.

Thank You to the Moderatot, I read the diet and am going gto try it out. Also, I'm going to go back to my GYN and see about the hormone tests.