His and Her Health

I had my son 4 years ago and have been unable to orgasm since then. The natural birth was quite traumatic and I took a long time to heal. Has anybody else had a similiar problem?

Are you experiencing any pain or discomfort, or any changes in bladder or bowel function? If so, you should see a pelvic floor secialist or MD that specializes in pelvic floor/vaginal disorders. If not, then try doing kegel exercises 1-2 times/day: 10 repetitions of quick holds (2 seconds) and 10 repetitions of long holds (8-10 seconds). make sure that you relax in between each repetition or the exercise will not be as effective.
This helps strengthen the muscles that assist with sexual function, and it helps with blood flow.

Thank you Amy. I will give the exercises a go. I am bit embarrassed to go to my doctor and tell her that I can't orgasm anymore.

I don't have any pain or discomfort or any other changes in bladder or bowel function at this stage. I simply find that I am unable to experience even the start of the 'tingly' feeling at all. It is very frustrating as it worked an absolute treat prior to the birth.

Luckily my husband is understanding but lovemaking just isn't the same (still good) but just not the same.

Definitely, try the exercises. But, you should not be embarrassed about talking to your MD. That is what they are there for. Also, you need to get your hormone levels checked as well. Pregnancy and post-, wreaks havoc on your system, specially with your hormones, and some women need help with regulating them.

<small>[ 04-01-2009, 08:11 PM: Message edited by: Moderator ]</small>

The delivery of my second child 13 years ago brought with it all vaginal tears that took a while to heal. But when they did heal, I discovered that I "lost" my orgasm. I had been perfectly orgasmic my whole sexual life...then...after baby number two (a foreceps delivery), I'd start to know there'd be an orgasm there, only it just fizzled into nothingness every time. I knew where it was supposed to be, but then nothing.

The internet was fairly new at the time so I tried to find some answers, but couldn't find a thing on this topic. I felt somehow embarrassed by it. I told a couple of online women moms who suggested I get these vaginal weights - that progressed in size. I had to get a prescription from my doctor and pay about $100 for the damn things. They didn't work. You had to walk around with them in your vagina and hold them in so they wouldn't fall out.

So I went back to the doctor periodically, mentioning the orgasm thing every once in a while. She didn't have any solutions except time (which wasn't doing a dern thing to help with the problem) until one day she had bright idea - physical therapy. I thought the idea rather strange, but HEY, I wanted my orgasms back. So I went and that physical therapist, bless her heart, solved my problem. She ran these test with this probe and saw that problem wasn't vaginal wall strength, it was something else. I had to rent this electric contraption that I'd put in my vagina and buzz for something like 15 minute increments twice a day. It was a strange feeling, let me tell you. What happened with the tearing was the receptors attaching the muscle to the something or other got disconnected, and when the tearing healed, the receptors didn't touch the vaginal wall like they had before. The electrical thing-a-ma-bob sort of forced the receptors to re-attach. Within a few weeks, I was back to myself. Praise the sweet goddess above, the lord almighty, and anyone else who'd like to take credit for that little electrical contraption and the physical therapist who found my orgasm.

It's not just a problem that Kegel exercises could have cured. Find a physical therapist with experience in this area. There is hope.

I agree with 'Bham mom" that the best thing to do would be to seek out a specialist in pelvic floor disorders, b/c they can do a FULL assessment of the pelvic floor muscles and tissues. Kegels may work, but it is possible that you need more than just strengthening and increasing the blood flow. Again, it also may be a hormonal change, so that is important to get checked as well.

Be sure to browse our websites at

www.ourgyn.com

www.bermansexualhealth.com