His and Her Health

i've been having problems achieving an orgasm, and i've not really been able to find too much information online about female problems orgasming. i've only been able to orgasm during sex once, which was the first time my fiancée and i had sex w/o a condom. other than that i've only been able to get off using a clit vibrater, and the effectiveness of that wore off and now won't do anything for me. this is starting to cause problems between my fiancée and i, as he keeps thinking its something that he is doing wrong. i don't have the money to go to a dr, although my annual exam was all normal. i've not been taking any medications other than my birth control. i was wondering if it might be some sort of performance anxiety, as my fiancée is pretty experienced and i have virtually no experience other than him. he says that i do great and all, but its really bothering him that he can't get me off, and he keeps thinking there is something wrong w/ him. i feel relaxed when i'm with him, and i enjoy the moment and everything, which is why i've not really considered this much before. i would be very grateful for any advice. thank you

Here is a link to one of our websites with an article on orgasm. This may give you some ideas.

http://www.bermansexualhealth.com/voxant/5-tips-for-achieving-orgasm-through-intercourse.html

thank you for the website, i will have to try some of this. one problem is that my fiancée and i have a long distance relationship - he is a trucker. we have spent a week together, the last night of which is when i had the one orgasm. other than that we've only had one other night together. but even with my clit vibrater, it worked wonderfully for the first month i had it, then i just couldn't get off anymore. the first time i used it i got off like six times, but after awhile (about a month?) i just couldn't get off anymore, and during that first month they kept decreasing in intensity. sometimes i feel like i'm about to orgasm, but then i somehow loose it. someone suggested that i get a hormone level test, but neither my fiancée or i can afford it right now since i don't have any health insurance. my fiancée is only the second guy i've been with, and my first we only spent one night together (ugh, don't get me started on him), and i don't believe i had an orgasm then. i apologize if any of this is too much information, but i really need to find some answers as this is causing problems w/ my fiancée. any advice/suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

You might want to go a little easier on the vibrator. Sometimes they can cause some numbing of the clitoris,don't press too hard if used directly on the clitoris.

Are you creating enough lubrication? Do you enjoy the sensation of penetration? Lot's of foreplay? There are so many things that are required to reach an orgasm in some women and sometimes it's still not enough. You may have an orgasmic disorder or suffer from HSDD / FSD. If you have no success you may want to take the hit and see an OBGYN

I agree about backing off with the use of the vibrator. Once in a while is okay but continued use numbs the dendrites that make every thing feel so great.

I'm a 62 yearold female who has always had a problem reaching an orgasm. I'm a very young 62 and have lost some relationships due to this. Because it hurt so much that I couldn't orgasm, after my husband and I divorced, I stayed away from men for 23 years. I felt broken and inadequate.

I plan on starting the "Orgasmic Diet" to see if it will help.

I've always suffered from depression and unfortunately the men I've had sex with in the past never believed in foreplay.

I have been on Paxil and Effexor for the past 5 years and I think my depression is due to not being able to have an orgasm. I have started weaning myself off these meds and asked my doctor to put me on Wellbutrin. It will take me two months to get off the meds.

Six months ago I met a wonderful man, six years younger, who feels that I am trying too hard and I agree. Wanting to orgasm is all I think about when having sex. He is very patient and although I can't orgasm when we have sex my head feels wonderful and I really don't feel that frustrated and although he feels bad that I can't orgasm, the sex is very enjoyable.

I love sex a lot and have no inhibitions but I get to a certain point and nothing happens. However, when I use my fingers and fantasize, when I'm alone, something does happen to me....I feel a build-up and a release and I feel a wave go through me, sometimes up my back and other times not as much and I feel something happen through my legs. I feel somewhat satisfied so that I'm able to sleep without feeling frustrated but I don't gush. So, am I having a citoral orgasm? My boyfriend says that you have to gush to have an orgasm.

One time I was with a guy who got inside me from the back (not anal) and he stuck his fingers inside me and played with me while moving in and out inside me. I was so excited that I got to a point where I could not breath and I had to keep trying to get air in my lungs. I've only felt like this with this man.

Can anyone tell me why I couldn't breath???

I am going to see a sex therapist on Monday in the hope that she can help me.

This is a lifelong quest and I won't give up until I can have an orgasm with a man. I say you're never too old...lol

If anyone has any advice for me I'd certainly appreciate it.

You do NOT have to gush to have an orgasm! That's crazy talk! Very very few women gush - it's really so rare most people have never heard of it. Clitoral orgasms are just fine. They're my very favorite kind. Most women have clitoral orgasms - like 70% - and intercourse alone will not get them there - they must have direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm. It's perfectly fine to have a clitoral orgasm by stroking or oral and then intercourse. It's a myth that sex is only "right" if it's penis in vagina. It's all still sex and the orgasm counts. I wonder how much of your problem is that people have been telling you you're doing it wrong?

Rear entry can be a very good position. The angle of penetration is better for stimulating your g-spot and as you found, he can stroke your clitoris (or you can or you can use a vibrator) while he's doing it.

Good luck!

Thanks for the answer. I do this often and if it didn't feel good I wouldn't be doing it. Unfortunately the men I've had sex with in the past didn't know much except to have their thrill and they were done.

My boyfriend says he doesn't mind if I play in front of him but believe it or not, even at my age, I'm too uncomfortable doing that because my orgasm may not be as good as his past relationships. Apparently they gushed. All these hangups...lol

At least he's very patient and understanding and trys to please me in all ways.

Thanks fo the info and take care.

My husband love sex very much.I am 50 and he is 54.I never achieving in orgasm.
Please tell me the best way for orgasm.
Are there any medication for achieving in orgasm ?which has no side effect and works very good.Or any better lubricant?

Have you ever had an orgasm? Does your husband do enough foreplay to prepare you for intercourse. Some of the warming lubricants may help by bringing blood to the area which helps the physical sensations. here is a link to an article about achieving an orgasm.
http://www.bermansexualhealth.com/voxant/5-tips-for-achieving-orgasm-through-intercourse.html